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Name: Roswell Greene
Classification: Registered Prober
Eye Color: Mirrored
Hair Color: None
Last Seen: A cornfield outside Gravesend
Also called: Little Green Man, Captain Cow-Mangler, Uncle Proddy
Description: Having long plagued the far-flug farms and ranches of middle America, sightings of this otherworldly creature were thought a result of moonshine and inbreeding.
However, when his UFO collided with a newly installed wind-energy turbine, his existence was confirmed. At first, the Government sought to keep him under wraps, dubbing him "Roswell Greene" as they attempted to learn his cosmic secrets through repeated waterboarding.
When documents about Roswell leaked onto the internet, he was given a public trial on charges ranging from unlicensed surgery to destruction of livestock and several acts redacted from the court record.
During the trial, Roswell escaped custody with the help of a teleportation device that had been brought in as evidence. Now trapped on Earth with no transportation, he is assumed to be on the large in the surrounding rural areas.
Quote: "I swear I just came over to warn her about all the other probers on the internet, Mr. Hansen."
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